The phone rings. I am still in deep REM fluctuating between
reality and fantasy—the phone continues to ring. Finally when I do cross the
barrier and recognize what is happening, it is too late—I have missed the phone
call and the ping signals a voice message. SHIT. I come to and realize that the
doctor has called and I missed it.
I have been waiting for the doctor to contact me for the
past week. Shit, shit, and one more time… SHIT. It is a Sunday. I return the
call, but there is no one in the office, I call the answer service and leave a
message. It is not until 3 that he returns the call.
Here’s the simplified rundown:
---We paid $37,000 for the Shared Risk Program, which guarantees
us 1 healthy baby over six attempts. We are 2:1 in the fresh donor egg cycle or
1:1 in frozen egg cycle.
---After months of cataloguing through over 100 women, I
selected a frozen egg donor, which cost an additional $1,250. There were 7 eggs
in the lot, 4 survived the dethawing. 3 of the 4 blossomed into healthy
embryos. So, I asked 2 embryos to be implanted.
---An FET was schedule for January 10th, 2012. Two
embryos were implanted. Initially, my pregnancy test was positive and I was
filled with false hope of my perfect family. It failed.
I was pissed! And I was devastated!
---Four months later, I got a date for the second IVF attempt,
May 1st, 2012.
---I called and asked the doctor is I could select another
donor to cycle with so that we could put in 2 embryos to increase our chances.
I cannot go through this shit again and fail. Feeling more and more desperate
not only due to the financial burden but also desperation to have a normal
family with children.
